Monday, August 1, 2011

Gay and Lesbian Wedding Etiquette

"We're engayged... legally!" (Joyful kisses and excited cheers from friends and family!) "Now what?"

I sometimes meet gay and lesbian couples who feel confused about their wedding ceremony. "My wedding won't look like a straight wedding, we're gay... so what do we do? Are there LGBT wedding traditions?"

There aren't "official" LGBT wedding traditions ~ yet there may be some day. You and your partner also may share strong feelings one way or the other about wedding traditions in general, honor them. What if you find your partner is more or less traditional or contemporary than you are (this also happens in straight couples)? Both give room for the other to be him or herself and fulfill that wedding dream as you can, whether it has tender childhood roots or is a current trend.

Sometimes couples feel stressed about a perceived need to please your families. Family members attending your wedding want to see you fulfilled in love ~ they are already happy.

The good news is legal Marriage Equality also means wedding ceremony equality. You are free to have a wedding ceremony that mixes tradition and artful invention in any way that is true for you two. Share what you're doing with other couples, and let yourself be inspired by ideas.

Love is in the details and so is your wedding ceremony. Whether you are a man or a woman or define your own gender you have total freedom to:
  • walk down the aisle with a family member or have no aisle
  • wear a dress or a suit ~ go formal, casual, or outrageous
  • include spiritual rituals from your faith(s) or have a non-spiritual ceremony about your relationship
  • include a wish for national or worldwide marriage equality
  • dance with your mother or someone who is like a mother to you
  • feed each other cake, wine, or your favorite treat
  • tie cans to your car, bicycle off to your honeymoon, or have a limo with a hot tub
  • elope to the islands
  • enjoy the process of planning your wedding
Just ask yourself... "is there anything that my heart feels makes a wedding a wedding?" If yes, do it. Above all, enjoy being in love and expressing who you are together; that's what helped you build your great relationship in the first place.

Congratulations! Happy wedding daydreams...