Monday, February 6, 2012

Super Bowl Love ~ Rooting for Both Teams at Your Wedding

Super Bowl Wedding
Photo by Mona Shield Payne
of the Las Vegas Sun

I watched The Super Bowl last night. The New England Patriots (a former home turf of mine) vs. the New York Giants (current home turf.) I was rooting for everybody. Doubly so, because one of my good friends was in a game pool where everyone had drawn numbers. She had "0" and "9." If the last digits of the score at the end of each quarter matched those numbers, she would win a money prize.  In the first quarter, we won with the Giants, when the score was 9-0! In the second quarter, we won with the Patriots when the score was 9-10! She treated us all to Super Bowl take-out dinner with her winnings. How joyful to win with both teams and root for both teams!

At your wedding, you also are rooting for both teams, both of you and both of your families. Sometimes you and your partner want different things. Or, your families may want different things from what you want, or from each other. Interfaith and inter-cultural weddings, for example, sometimes see such conflicts. How can you help everyone to realize that you're all winners already and that your wedding is not a competition? By being true to yourselves, and being kind about it.

Love's Yellow Brick Road
Photo by Meg Perotti

Your wedding is an opportunity to give and receive. If you partner really wants to walk down an aisle and you feel shy or skeptical of aisles, be a team player. Wait for your partner with a smile at the top of the aisle while he or she enjoys a grand entrance. If your partner wants a sea of flowers and your wedding budget allows for a pond, talk about what makes beauty to her or him. Is it the color, the style, the quantity? By listening to each other, you win, because you can then emphasize that one most important quality. If it's the color yellow, not the fact that they are rare hybrids from abroad, find a less expensive, local yellow flower and dazzle your partner's senses with it! 

Cultural and spiritual differences can feel more loaded because families sometimes feel passionate about passing along their heritage. Yet, there are great ways to make the family fans on each side cheer. For religious unity, one of my favorite ways is to choose a reading from a spiritual text and empower someone strong-of-faith from the family to read it. The family member feels honored to uphold the faith. Further, if you don't want religious language yet still want to honor your family, choose a sacred reading that doesn't mention a higher power ~ there are good ones simply about love!

Go Team Earth!
Image from

Lastly, remember to be on your own team. Focus on your joy and the way you want to express love. Turn often to your cheerleaders, supportive friends and family, and your cheerleading captain: your sweetie. If someone throws a flag on your field, make your call from your own heart. The more sincere you are in your joy, the more people around you respect your choices, especially the unusual ones. This goes for every area of our lives from a wedding, to work, to friendships.

Love makes us all winners!